Capricorn Rising: The Beauties

January 15, 2014 § Leave a comment

I am at heart a gentleman” — Marlene Dietrich 12/27/1901

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Even the salt of earth can be fickle at times. Capricious Caps, such as myself, love parading their moods on their sleeves, literally. A notable clothes horse, the garments I wear are badges of self expression. Catching the Capricorn eye can be difficult; we focused goats need you to wow us in order for notice to be taken. Please don’t be offended, climbing mountains takes concentration. Preening is important to us as we feel it is our God given right to make an excellent impression. From dashing silver-screen gents to the models of today, these Capricorns have both brains & beauty.

Marianne Faithful

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Once Mick Jagger’s main squeeze, this gorgeous songbird shrugged off the ‘mars bar’ accusation like it ain’t no thing.  So confident was she, that during that drug bust she proudly wore just a rug while the coppers framed busted the Stones. Of noble Vieneese birth and half British Army brat, she battled addiction and came out clean on the other side

Francoise Hardy

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The epitome of easy, effortless French chic, Francoise is and always will be my fave of the all the Yeah Yeahs. She even had Tom Jones tongue tied. This dusky beauty & motorcycle babe wasn’t a diva or show off a la Bardot. Francoise possess a mysterious, yet soulful charm. I’m not the only one who considers her a French Fox, Mick Jagger called her, the ‘ideal woman’.

Cary Grant

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The silver tongued devil himself!  Hitchcook adored him and with good reason. No one can look that good whilst being shot at by an airplane in a cornfield. Archie Leech, a.k.a Cary Grant, came from England alone at 13, sloughed off his cockney tones and became an American Silverscreen Icon; textbook example of a tenacious Capricorn.

Joan Baez

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A true Native beauty, the muse of Dylan, an avid activist and my Dad’s crush. Joan truly hasn’t gotten the credit she deserves; she’s an incredible artist in her own right with the heart of a Lion. Wes Anderson is a fan too and I love that he incorporates her in many of his whimsical soundtracks

Denzel Washington

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Tall, dark & handsome…

Smooth as silk, who doesn’t love or least respect this monumental actor. Brave and brilliant, Denzel can make you tremble with his dark and flashing eyes. Can you believe he’s 58 years old?! He can make an entire film his stage, with his commanding presence and glorious smile; he is a true American artist . King Kong ain’t got nothing on him…

Other Notable Capricorn Beauties…

Faye Dunnaway

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Whenever I look at Faye, I’m hypnotized by the bewitching prescence of this  feline-featured actress. Clyde said it best,

“You’re a knock out.”

Marlene Dietrich

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Diane Keaton

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Annie Hall can do no wrong

Clark Gable

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Another tall drink of water. Beneath that finely, tailored gentleman lies a badassssss

Eartha Kitt

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 A glorious Woman of Colour, she was feline perfection as cat woman. A total sexpot, but its that voice that gets me everytime

Jude Law

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Let’s be real…Jude’s pretty…like Peter O’Toole pretty

Love or hate him, he’s an exquisite actor who’s got the chops

Ralph Fiennes

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He is the man that simply smoulders on screen. With an intense gaze and gentleman’s growl he was able to convince everyone to pronouce Ralph, as Rafe

Kate Moss

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No matter the scandal and intrigue that surrounds her, whenever I see Kate’s face, I literally *sigh*. They don’t call her The Sphinx for nothing; sculptures have been made in her honour! To Johnny, Pete & thousands of men, she’s a total heartbreaker. A bodacious babe whose still killing it in the fashion world at 40, I hardly doubt that she ‘don’t know what to do with herself…

Georgia May Jagger

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Helena Christensen

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I don’t know why, but there are a lot of Capricorn models? Perhaps its the brutal work ethic we enforce upon ourselves, or our picky perfectionism that allows to be such harsh task masters; our own worst enemy. I can see these girls being very real about their imagined flaws, but they always  get that money baby…

2013: And The Winner Is…

February 27, 2013 § 2 Comments

Argo

Argo

Not a total shocker, but come on, Argo? Throw me off the Hollywood Hills if you must, but this was not a strong year for films. We had three, pardon me, ‘America F**k Yeah!” films, an exhausting, overdone musical, a glorified rom com, which left us with only 4 decent films worthy of the title. Argo had incredible pace, that was thrilling until its final act, but it was a perfect example of the Academy’s love for the underdog pulling through. By snubbing Ben in the Best Director category, he & Georgie boy took home the gold baldie for Best Picture. Whatever, its all so mastabatory anyway…

Just for the record, Seth MacFarlane has made it resounding clear that he will not be hosting next year. In all fairness, unlike the snarky, shocking snipes from the trigger happy Ricky Gervais, Seth set the tone from the get go that he was going to cut fast & deep. I appreciated that the comedy writing was certainly in his voice, unlike other puppet hosts of the past (ahem, Hathaway). The whole Captain Kirk bit was tapped from his comedic veins and allowed him to take shots at himself. I’ve had “I Saw Your Boobs” rattling around in my melon for days now.

SNUBS

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Listen, I saw all the Best Pic noms, & then some, and I can honesty say that The Master being snubbed was a terrible oversight. P.T. Anderson keeps those masterpieces coming and trust me, The Masters rich symbolism will be analzyed and agonized in film schools for years. The performances were incredible! Amy’s heavily pregnant, Lady MacBethes-que, Peggy Dodd was the stuff of legend. Same goes for Joaquin who underwent an incredible prosthetic-free transformation into a character that was more animal than man; but he tried so hard to have the ego rule the id.

Although Amour won Best Foreign Film, Emmanuelle Riva’s stroke victim was unbelievably good and truly earned the French actress the golden statuette. Her stutters and steely gaze behind a paralyzed face was chillingly remarkable. Even Naomi’s tsunami survivor was astounding; I was in tears before the 20 minute mark. But alas, as much as I love JLaw this win was premature; a classic Oscar mea culpa for previously snubbing her groundbreaking performance in Winters Bone. Even though he didn’t win for Best Picture, I’m elated that Ang received the win for Best Director. The Ayatollah ain’t got nothing on directing a novice actor (carrying an entire film on his shoulders, mind you), kids, animals, water, multiple locations, continents & languages. And Ang made it look effortless.

“Xie Xie & Namaste”.

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The Dresses; The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Alright, I’ll stop my film school diatribe to give you want you really want; the dirt on who stunned and who was shunned. This was a year of Big Time Bling! Metallic Maidens galore who put on the glitz & glam in La La Land

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Emmanuelle, our French Grand Dame was effortless elegance in Lanvin

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Jennifer Lawrence was chided for her bridal gown look, but with her youthful vibrancy she pulled of this white Dior Haute Couture gown and I adored the subtle sparkle of the Chopard chain flowing down her back

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Halle Berry, do you never age? My God, did she stun everyone stupid in this long-sleeve, stripped Versace gown. I’ve not seen anything like it & loved how the plunge in the front matched that of the back.

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Jessica Chastain was an absolute vision. As a red head, I can imagine that it would be difficult to find an airy tone that didn’t wash her out, but this Art Deco-inspired, gold gown by Armani Privé was perfection. That juicy shade of red lipstick paired with her jewelry by Harry Winston made her shine like a Glamour Goddesses of the Silver Screen era.

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Catherine Zeta, I ask you the same question I posited to Halle; how do you keep it so tight, woman? This dress was metallic sexiness and she reminded me of a Gustav Klimt painting. I know she’s made it on almost every worst dressed list but I think she looked incredible in this gown; the work on the bodice is exquisite and to die for.

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Naomi’s snub aside, she was the High Fashion forward belle in this futuristic metallic Armani Privé column gown. It was a risk that paid off and made her stand out from the crowd. Grace Jones eat your heart out…

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Jane Fonda, is one of my absolute favorite actresses, and its not because she’s smoking hot at age 75 {yes, that’s right, 75 years old}. A former bulimic and anorexic, Jane was able to love herself and now spends her time as a motivational speaker, telling her story so that future generations of woman hopefully won’t suffer like she did. She sang in this canary-yellow corseted Versace gown with strong shoulders and sequin details; she is woman, hear her Roar!

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Oh hello Amanda. I loved this Alexander McQueen gown lace, and totally thought she outshone her Les Mis costars. But I don’t think it loved her; the way she held herself seemed like her corset/spanx were crushing this bird. She honestly looked like she was suffering on the red carpet, but it worked for the paps snaps. I also loved loved loved the red gown she wore in that ensemble musical number. This was a rooky mistake, but with her acting chops, I know she’ll be back.

 

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This woman is supposedly a wrestler. What?! Stacy Keibler obviously had no problems locking Georgie’s arms in taking her down the red carpet in this Naeem Khan killer dress.

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*Sigh*…Charlize, the only woman who can pull off peplum with such fierce elegance. But let’s be real, she could wear a potato sack and stop traffic with a 10 car pile up

The Bad & Urmmmm Ugly

I don’t mean to be horrible, I really don’t, but this is all a lesson for next time, right? For the record, I don’t think any of these ladies are ugly, but uhmm, their choices, well let’s just say require more imagination than I can muster at the moment…

Except for Anne…

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She knows better…And not only that, she has an army of stylists and has designers literally throwing gowns at her. I think she is a fab actress, but I don’t know…my spidey senses are tingling and I find her terribly insincere. When I saw this rosy gown with the perky boob seaming, the image of Audrey Hepburn winning her first Oscar flashed in my mind.

Never will you ever be as grand or iconic as Audrey; sorry.

I’m onto you Hathaway, & no amount of side boob can help you…

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Kristen, you ‘Trampire” {Will Ferrell’s words, not mine}. I don’t think she looks bad, she clearly doesn’t give a f**k.

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Melissa McCarthy unfortunately matched the grey curtains she was presenting in front of; a definite Oscar no-no & you’re people should have been on this. But her make up and hair were dynamite

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Norah had a great performance but terrible red carpet dress; its ill fitting. Poor thing, she should have stuck with the Supremes Sunshine yellow; she nailed that look.

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Helena, I love you, you saucy spazz. And like KStew, you also do not give two flying f**ks.

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I have no idea why this mess has topped many Best Dressed Lists, but from the waist up, those appliques and that belt are ridiculous. I don’t know what Zoe was thinking. The tail is beautifully crafted, but the colours are a drab bore on this dusky beauty.

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This is a frumpy, ill fitting, blight in blue. Reese constantly had to announce her pregnancy as if to say it wasn’t her fault that as a huge Hollywood star she wore a dress that looks likes it about to slip off. Just don’t go shopping with Kim Kardashian, ok?

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Tsk, tsk, tsk…Kelly Rowland this is a disaster. From that bustier that looks like a 2nd graders attempt at origami to that awkward and unflattering slit, I’m just in shock. This is a beautiful woman, one of Destiny’s Children, who has clearly lost her damn mind.

Well that’s all my Happy Howlers! Another Oscars has come & gone; the rest is history now & theres no point crying over spilt Moet!

Because I’m cruel & hate to suffer alone, I leave you with…

Capricorn Rising: The Trailblazers

January 19, 2013 § 1 Comment

“I am learning all the time. My tombstone will be my diploma.” —Eartha Kitt 1/17/1927

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As the Sun drifts seemlessly out of Capricorn and onto new horizons, I have mere hours to regale my Happy Howlers with a dedication to la creme de la creme of my fellow horned beasties.

Born under this mysterious & unrelenting sign, I have the honor of being in the company of other wild Capricorns who air on the side of adventure while simultaneously upholding our salt of the Earth status. Stubborn & determined, every goal is attainable; ‘Can’t’ is the dirtiest of all words. Before the sun sets on Capricorn for another year, a hommage must be payed to my astrological kindred spirits who are trailblazers & literal inventors, changing the face of music, fashion, gender, culture and our collective concsiousness.

Elvis Pucker

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Who better to kick off this zodiac ode than the King himself. Elvis Presley; many have imitated him, but none shall ever come to close to capturing his magnetism. He awoke the world to a new sound, rattling the establishment with a flexible pelvis and curled upper lip. Hide your daughters; Elvis is absolutely swoon worthy! Those eyes, that glossy black hair, what a fox! I particularly loved his jumpsuit phase; only he could pull off rhinestones & capes with the chicks screaming for more! But nothing beats that black leather suit he wore during his 1968 Comeback Special Concert. He’s smoking & I’m melting…

That’s why they called him the ‘King’, baby…

Steeped in controversy, I ask you not to remember him as a tv shooting, pill popping, Nixon loving, toilet dying celebrity, but rather as the swaggering, Tura Sultana loving, ultimate entertainer, fried peanut butter n’banana sandwich eating, good to his Mama, King of Rock & Roll

Patti Smith At The Chelsea

A queen in my eyes, our next ferocious Cap is none other than Patti Smith. The Godmother of Punk, Patti pushed the boundaries of sexuality, music, poetry and photography. When the biz told women they had to show tits & ass to be respected as an artist, Patti Smith said, fuck that noise! {I’m paraphrasing, but come on, you could totally imagine her saying that}. A total babe, Patti’s tumultuous affair with the enigmatic Robert Mapplethorpe, allowed them to explore sexuality & poverty on the explicit surface of 35mm black & white film. Patti’s raw and dynamic stage presence in ties and mens clothing played with the masculine/feminine aspects of the self with complete sincerity. How many ‘punk’ tweeny boppers have copied Patti’s style without any flavours of grittiness, true androgyny or unbridled passion. The Answer; None! I can count on my hand the women who’ve shaped punk music & Patti’s influence are still seen today. Don’t believe me? Watch the video below and call me in the morning. If this rendition of GLORIA revs your motor, the AGO is doing a retrospective of her work, so keep your peepers peeled.

Janis

Today marks the birth of an infamous Capricorn lady who continues to mesmerize us post humously. Janis Joplin was an icon. She represented the incredibly free and wild style of the 60s; her clothes are to die for…An unfortunate member of the 27 Club, this brash Texan was taken from us too soon. Her voice was ground shaking; no one song soul like Janis did. She was the epitome of hippy chic, replete with rose coloured glasses, thick Kashmiri embroidered blouses, feather boas and strands upon strands of necklaces & frizzy hair. Dick Cavett adored her and the nation mourned her when it all ended in that motel room.

Sadly, our mysterious nature can lead us to some very shadowy places. Climbing great heights,  looking behind us, we can sometimes become hypnotized by the dark chasm; its very easy to slip backwards into the darkness. Today would have been her 69th Birthday. Where ever you are sweet girl, I truly hope you found the unconditional love you so deserved & which was denied you in this lifetime.

Other Notable Trailblazing Capricorns…

Martin Luther King Jr.

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Dian Fossey

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Andy Kaufman

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Muhammad Ali

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Britannia!

September 20, 2012 § Leave a comment

Trouble is Coming…


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Y’all ready for this?

By decree of King Freddie {who is Queen, technically } I am hereby elected to swoop upon Great Britain to bring merriment & mischief from the colonies!

May it be known that I shall be venturing to London for a very auspicious event; the marriage of my darling cousin. But fear not my Happy Howlers, I intend to search for the thriftiest of thrifty treasures. Be sure to look out for my self-imposed, Charity Shop Challenge.

I shall be Fearless.

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Because, This is My Life

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But I shan’t forget to enjoy a Sunday Afternoon…

No matter how many times I’ve been to London, I still get get lost in straight-laced mod day dreams & technicolour visons of punk mohawks. Its been 7 years & I’m so curious as to where this infamous cities pulse is beating the loudest? I promise to savor every moment & share my delectable adventure. Until my return, I bid all my Happy Howlers, a fond adieu

“The City so Nice, They Named it Twice”

September 18, 2012 § 2 Comments

“New York, you’re perfect. Don’t please don’t change a thing”

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I know, trust me I know. I’m aware of what I sound like; carrying on like a gushing girl about a city I only just met. This is the last one, promise. But I couldn’t just leave things on the note of reviewing shops; this was an adventure! Come on, this is New York City we’re talking about after-all. 

Having beaten its never-ending pavement, savored it’s paletas & spending time with old friends, NYC has elegantly wormed its way into my heart. There is always something so special about places by the sea.

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~Manhattan~

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Other than then sheer joy of napping in Sheep Meadow, absorbing all its greenery with soothed eyes, was seeing my dear friends Sara & Dave again. I must extend my warmest gratitude to them for their generous hospitality & their refreshing company. There is nothing like being reunited with old friends in a new place to give one perspective. I love you both dearly, & I wish you all the best; take a big ole’bite outta’ that apple!

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Riding on a well oiled subway system {yes, TTC I’m looking directly at you & your 2 measly lines}, I appreciated it’s design & the mind-boggling amount of people that keep it running so smoothly. Could it really have been built by just digging ditches? The true jewel in Manhattan’s iron crown is Central Park. Being only moments away from Strawberry Fields, and from where John was taken from us, the Imagine mosaic was covered with tourists, like ants to fallen ice cream. Über cheesy, it sadly took away from its impact. But upon finding the plaque devoted to peace, I did get choked up. Instead of bolstering his image as a martyr, I chose to remember John during happier times. Forgive the obvious Beatles video, but it truly rang sweetly in my mind during my time there.

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~ The High Line & Greenwich~

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Walking along the wonder of the High Line, I was inspired by Joshua David & Robert Hammond’s sustainable vision. It truly is a wonder, strewn with flowers, fountains and reclining chairs. This portion of the  trip was a feast not only for the eyes, but the stomach. First, I happily got my greedy hands on a paleta or Mexican popsicle. This particular paleta was made of passion fruit & I sprinkled that heavenly chilli & lime powder liberally. So refreshing!

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In Greenwich the yums continued; we took Sara & Dave to a lovely vegan resto, Gobo; excellent Asian inspired cuisine. After dinner we ventured into 5 points, paying hommage to Stonewall & getting pizza for a $1. Random. And where else other than Greenwich can one find designer gowns swinging gently in the evening breeze, shining in the lamp light.

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~Brooklyn & Williamsburg~

Saving the best for last, I could hardly forget to mention the spectacular borough of Brooklyn.

In the words of Alexa Chung, who said it best,

“I would say that Williamsburg is sort of my lover. Whereas {Toronto} is more like my husband. And I love my husband & I’ll always be with him, but Williamsburg is so exciting”.

Brooklyn hums with a vibration that should not be mistaken with electricity; it is far more vibrant & potent.

Bagel Robots on Bedford

I was only there for a blink of an eye, but this neck of the woods, slip on like a pair of worn in boots. Speaking of which, Chad literally stumbled upon these YSL beauties, sold to him by these beauties; on the street, literally from a bag & with smiles

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This place attracts a wildness; those who are unabashed & happy to be alive. We met so many lovely people & were treated with grand hospitality by citizen & bartender alike. Special shout out to Dylan, Scott & Karen. Finding a classic way into our hearts, the food was divine. Anna Maria’s Pizza & Pasta is the pizza place. The Brooklyn accent is the real deal in this joint where you get to yell out your order & hear it echoed.

Anna Maria Pizza & Pasta

I haven’t had chicken in years, but my God, Foodswings could have fooled me. This place claims it does American classics, vegan style; they are not joking. We ate the most incredible ‘chicken’ drumsticks made from what must have been seitan. It came off the bamboo bone just like the real deal. I highly recommend the vegan Buffalo Chicken Drumsticks with the vegan ranch dip; it’s literally smothered in a delectable hot sauce. I ate so fast, sorry no pictures! But my favorite, the holy grail, was my mission to eat a fish taco. After running on empty, Rosarito’s Fish Shack was worth the slog. We arrived just in time for Happy Hour {brilliant concept, which Toronto should whole heartedly adopt!} & had the most succulent fish & shrimp tacos, replete with $1 Maine oysters {unreal!} & 2 for 1 margaritas! Every bite was a blessing on their patio.

Rosarito

But we got to experience a true treat! The exalted, the fierce & the fine, Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings!!! She gave a free show in Williamsburg Park {which technically isn’t a park}  that got the whole crowd grooving. New Yorkers, like me, love to get down to some soulful beats; trust me, Ms Jones delivered! Most memorable quote of the trip belongs to Chad when he said, “This music makes me feel Black & Sexy”. Can I get a hell yeah!

This last memory is one of my dearest. After exiting some shop, Chad immediately rushed me to a vendors table, exclaiming this was something we had to do. An artist, possessing a vintage instant camera offered her unique services & developed the print on the spot. I was intrigued, but I hate getting my photo taken. Reigning myself in, we posed, she aimed & fired! Below is the process & the result, remarkable! It is now a most cherished token.

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New York, New York, you are the belle of the ball & everyone in the free world wants a dance. You gladly oblige as you glide across the dance-floor with rhythm & charm. Your wit is a breath of fresh air, your gown is jaw dropping, but you can hold your liquor & swear like a sailor. In this grand city, there is truly something for everyone & if you haven’t been, it’s alright, just tell her I sent you.

The Howling Review: Amarcord, Williamsburg Store

September 7, 2012 § Leave a comment

Fashionable European vintage clothing, couture, and accessories…

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Scene: 223 Bedford St, Williamsburg Location

I heard of Amarcord via Alexa Chung from some interview thingamajiggy on youtube. Upon realization of its existence, I thought it best to check it out whilst exploring the streets of Williamsburg. I spotted it’s chic awning from Fabianne’s patio {they have delicious iced coffee’s, fyi}. I immediately fell head over heels with the  60’s a go-go graphics covering the walls in orange, green, magenta & black. This aesthetic was effortlessly repeated by Amarcord’s owner Pam, whose turquoise, pink & orange dress was out of this world! This lovely lady explained to me that all of her amazing finds were hand picked from Europe; I believe many of the pieces were from Italy.

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Trying on a floor length gold & red gown with a sexy slit I felt as saucy as Sophia Loren.

But alas, the fit was too big, which was heartbreaking as Amarcord was currently have a 50% Off Sale. Bummer. Chad, on the other hand,  had luck on his side yet again. He managed to score a supple, rust coloured leather vest replete with fringe that only cost $25 {original price $50}. The fringe is so choice, it’s even on the back.

Lady Pam of Amarcord is a total class acts & being nestled in the heart of Williamsburg, her shop is absolutely worth a visit. Especially when there is a sale; who doesn’t want to feel like an Italian Countess every once in a while?

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http://amarcordvintagefashion.com/

The Howling Review: Vice Versa, Williamsburg Brooklyn

September 7, 2012 § Leave a comment

Vintage Garb for Man, Woman, and Beast

Vice Versa

Scene: 241 Bedford Avenue, take the ramp to the shop

Vice Versa is exactly that; instead of catering to just women, this place is a vintage haven for dudes. Rows & racks of boots, shoes, blazers, jackets & shirts line the walls of this Williamsburg native. It’s finds were as satiating as water from an oasis; finally, some cheap treats! I don’t want to mislead as they did have women’s garments as well, but there men’s selection was easier on the eyes & the wallet. Not a fan of polyester gowns with obnoxious prints, I helped Chad to scoop up a killer, leather vest; the perfect accompaniment to his recent bandana phase. We found a simple, black leather vest, with a soft back and brass buttons for a cool $10. He also snapped a sharp, mod spring jacket in an olive tone replete with ventilation to cool down my Cheddar from melting whilst on his bike. I did manage to find a cropped vest (I suspect it might have been made for a child), that had exquisite embroidery. Silken yellow & white thread looping gingerly around mirrors. The craftsman is simply divine and definitely Northern Indian or Pakistani for $15.

Vice Versa is a must see go too for the Happy Howler on a budget.

http://viceversavintage.com/index.html

 

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